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Feralmind

by Heal.

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1.
I died with the patient ones I basked in the silence I died without making a difference Swallowed by the tide Press the barrel to my head Unlock the safety and ask the question “how important is your life to you, if you’re too afraid to live it?” Beg, pray, plead No one’s listening I stared at myself in the waves Waiting for god to answer I stared at my muddled reflection And saw a hollow man No deity showed No more belief in the above and below I grind my teeth down to the root As I await the end Beg, pray, plead No one’s listening I lost my voice Screaming in vain The chamber clicks And no one cares I died with the patient ones I basked in the silence I died without making a difference Swallowed by the tide Blood leaves and bevels up from the cracks Life slips and atrophies Nothing left but a husk of what i used to be Blood pours The world turns without remorse
2.
A halo of filth Forms around your head One final glimpse in the mirror One last collapse on the concrete floor Calls missed Rid yourself from the world “I cannot exist” Shallow breaths drone on The final bridge has been burned Sprawled out with the rats The cold moon overhead lulls you in The light paints your face Pale and colorless as the final fix seeps in It’s what you’ve missed A sharp tongue now dulled Stripped of all identity Another body, another statistic Bound to sterile machines The poison and virus within Bloom like a lotus Of calloused skin Take the virus before it takes you You lie lifeless in the womb So plush Return to dust Nine lives spent Succumbed to agony “I cannot exist” What’s left of a heart charred black?
3.
Void Dream 03:40
Tank starved And I’m left unnoticed My spirit is waning Everyday feels like I’m sinking Deeper and deeper anxiety pulls at me I cant find a way to dismantle this sickening spiral that plagues my dreams and keeps me awake. From under the rust, from the crawl spaces in my mind. I’ve let these thoughts fester and spread like a blight. Night after night The void swells Gravity presses down, paralyzed i wait... Gutted from the inside Wasted promise a life undefined. Self destruction And fear intertwine A slow dark panic The spiral’s design Gutted from the inside There’s no place hide ... lying silent, enter darkness.
4.
Feralmind 04:31
I’ve become everything I’ve ever hated. A stranger draped in my own skin The vices pry and burrow inside Asphyxiate Everything changes and everything grows. Everything moves on and turns to smoke. Still blinded by my past mistakes Numb the pain and wash away I lost myself, in an opaque haze new hurt, new flesh, new sex A thirst that is never quenched the rope tightens ‘round my neck Eyes close A vile nature that can never be tamed There is no hope for me Croon through the wall Splashes of light Take me where I don't belong Confined by a feral mind A voyeur to my decay Confined by a feral mind Morality displaced My eyes roll to the back of my head. My spine splinters and breaks. Thoughts pass like fingers through tall grass and i cant escape this Place — your head against my chest where my heart once struck. Colors flash in and out of frame No fulfillment for a wretch like me I continue to retract from life Stricken with the shame I cant separate the I from the actual me Eyes close... reflect... ignore the voices... deflect I stare and no one stares back I stare A failed artist, a failed son, a failed lover, a fucking drunk.

about

Recorded by Evan Perino at Shellshock Audio
Mastered by Daniel Schmuck
Artwork by Dillon Perino
Additional vocals on “Void Dream” by Taylor Kolb

credits

released January 10, 2020

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Heal. New York

Melodic Hardcore band from Long Island New York

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